she
​
who everyone sees as light
draws in darkness and swallows it whole
​
she
who everyone leans on
a hand each
pressed into her as if it was the last thing they’d ever hold
fingernails digging deep into her skin
until flesh and blood were caked underneath
she developed scars
no one the same as the other
etched in hieroglyphs readable only by her
​
she
who struggles to feel whole
to feel all the way put together
whose pieces have been scattered
frivolously
who has been devoured at the expense of her own fulfillment
lips licked out of satisfaction
lips bit out of satisfaction
lips sewn shut with the fear of loss
lips split apart with inauthenticity
I wonder how many times she cracked a smile in the same way her heart broke
painfully
slowly
without notice
​
she
who has experienced what it really feels like to be lesser than
to be not quite good enough for the equation
to tear a part every ounce of her being
down to the follicle
learn it
analyze it
feed it until it grew into the monster that
sits atop her shoulder
itching for an opportunity to pounce
​
she
who craved love like it was oxygen
who loved his touch just a tad bit more than she loved her own
who dreamt up alternative realities
where love was easily obtainable
where she didn’t have to try so hard to convince someone
how she and the light were interchangeable
how she could shed light on them and they on her
and they could admire each other’s darkness and
tend to it as if it was a garden of roses
where she and they could be two light forces together and live in ambiguity
fade into the atmosphere with ease
with peace
​
she
who coped with reality through fantasy
what wild dreams she would have
where all the would stars align
and her tears were as sweet as raindrops
and music was just music instead of triggers
where joy was as accessible as the lint in her back pocket
where her scars turned to beauty marks
​
she
an ethereal individual
someone who has been misunderstood
misguided
misled
a mystery not meant to be solved
a memory misconstrued
a moment meant to last forever
who better to know than
her